WARNING - Midlife Crisis Ahead
I am getting close to another birthday, and this one is a big one. I am turning 40. I started thinking about turning forty about a day after I turned 39. For some reason, I could not wrap my head around it. How the hell could I be turning 40? Where has my life gone? What have I done with it? Am I at the start of a mid-life crisis?
Then I imagined myself in a sports car and bald, I was also about a foot shorter in my imagination, and nearly as round as I was tall. Even weirder, was the girl in the car next to me, half my age. Was I having an affair - with a girl?
It was in that moment I realized I had maybe “gone round the bend”. In my mind's eye, I was creating a future in which I had somehow transformed into George Costello. The absurdity of it all snapped me out of the funk I had put myself in.
Maybe the last twenty years had not gone as planned, but they weren’t a complete disaster. I have met some fantastic people, lived in cities across the country, traveled to Europe, and overcome the darkness of depression, alcoholism, and drug addiction. I have completed two degrees and nearing the completion of a third. I get to explore life with my best friend and our three dogs (and seven chickens, and a bunch of fish). It has been quite an interesting first half of this life.
So what’s next?
My goal over the next year is to focus more on writing. I enjoy it, and there are two or three people who read what I pen, so why not? Who knows where it will take me, and maybe nowhere but this couch, but it is what I think about when I wake up every morning, so I am going to explore it some.
I also intend to buy a small farm. While I was working on my B.A., I found myself researching the politics of our countries food system. I also found that the majority of the food available for you and I, you know the stuff on the grocery store aisles, well it isn’t very nutritious. There are also quite a lot of people who do not have access to fresh vegetables for their families. While I haven’t quite figured out how I am going to get the fresh foods to them, in an affordable way, I am going to figure it out. There are a ton of other motivators, but that is the primary driver. It’s one of those things I don’t know how I am going to accomplish, but I will. I always seem to find a way.